Back From The Dead, Or At Least The Comatose

Howdy, It's been awhile, I know. When things got quiet it was still late summer. The trees were green, the air warm and life was well, life. Now, here it is, a week or so before Christmas and as you might expect, the trees are bare, the air is damn cold and life is well, still life.

What happened? why did I stop writing? Would you believe me if I told you it was because of the constant harrassment from English teachers all over America who don't approve of my writing style and grammar? No? I Didn't think so. Actually I don't really want to say a whole lot about it because I don't want people to percieve me differently than they already do, or worse yet treat me differently because of something I've had to deal with most all of my life. I wouldn't tell ya if I had cancer either until it was obvious because I wouldn't want to be treated differently and I wouldn't want people around me all mopey about something that nothing can be done about. That said, I will say that what happened back in late August was what I basically call a "crash" and something can be done about them. I doubt it's a medical term, but for me at least pretty aptly describes what happens. First one I've had in several years and somewhat preventable had I acted sooner, although that's easier said than done.

This past year has been a motherf***** on a number of different levels. Between money problems, Another job change, major kid problems with the 15 year old, some heath issues and the ensuing need to take meds as a part of normal life and a ton of fustration for not being smarter than I am and not seeing things coming that I should've seen coming, realizing that I'm in my 50's, not my 30's and running out of time to get things accomplished.........I just kinda blew a fuse.

Research I've done over the years to get to the bottom of this has taught me that it's a physical condition that can affect the mental condition. The body isn't generating some of the juices that we need to function normally on a daily basis. I seem to be for some reason, deficient in a couple of those juices and although most of the time it's not an issue, there are times when it is and that's when there's a crash. The last thing I'm gonna say about this is the next time someone tells you...."aaawwww it's all in your head" you just look at 'em like their a moron and say "yes it is...and where else do you think it could possibly be??"

Now that the crash has been repaired and we're back to moving again I've been spending as much of my time as possible doing things I enjoy doing. Playing with the computer and my websites, filing up my Ipod with old and new music, playing with my 4 legged buddies and if I can find the time I plan to start teaching myself to play this piano that sits 10 feet away from me. I still believe there's alot of music inside that needs to get out althought I'm not sure for what reason at this stage in life. I plan to write again soon because I like to do it and right now that's all the reason I need to do something. Hmmmm, maybe I should apply that mindset to learning the piano too?